Unsteady

Unsteady. A word that broadcasts so many definitions. Everything from emotions to work to your own individual world can be unsteady. Life throws you many blessings and many misfortunes, it's how you handle them, learn from them, and change them, that make your life what you want it to be.

It takes a lot for someone to go through many life changing or altering events at once. It takes courage, grace, control, encouragement and SO much more, that most don't realize the severity of what they're even going through until someone lays it out for them. Many people go through life only knowing misfortunes, while others glide through life only knowing blessings until one day misfortune hits them and their world is turned upside down, and they don't have the necessary coping skills to get through the foreign misfortune they've been presented.

As we're nearing the one year mark on my grandpa's passing, I'm slowly turning into a robot again, turning hard, protected, and unguided by anyone. There's so many emotions brought into life, that most can't understand. I'm in the works of planning a memorial tribute but I'm at a loss. My grandpa loved boats, fishing, gardening and spending time with his family, teaching them the many lessons grandfathers and fathers have to teach. It's not like we can all pick up a fishing rod and go fishing for his memorial, I want something special, it's going to take me a month and a half to narrow it down, something that will mean everything to me, and hopefully everything to my family.

I've been working on a few surprises too, obviously they're surprises so I can't spill the beans until these surprises have been released. More to follow at a later date though. You'll get to know, it's going to be wonderful, and I'll be pleased with myself if I can pull it off!

As stated in my previous post, Wade and I have been going through some difficult times, from work to difficult decisions on starting a family. Our life is changing, Wade's work is dwindling down, it's snowing (and it's spring), we bought a tent trailer, music doesn't heal the soul like it used to - now that all familiar song that brings up sad memories comes on more often and you break down.

You know what?!? It happens, life is meant to happen, and life isn't meant to be fair, if you didn't struggle through misfortunes and enjoy the blessings, your life wouldn't be yours, it would be controlled by an alternate reality. What's the fun in that?!? You wouldn't feel pain, happiness, joy, love, anger, frustration, or any of the other emotions, you would be monotone and boring. No one wants that for themselves, or their own worst enemy. Again, it comes back to; you make your life what you want your life to be, YOU govern what happens to you, and you handle your blessings and misfortunes with the grace and strength you KNOW you have deep down. It may be hidden, but it will come up when you least expect it.

Unsteadiness only lasts for so long, and your life gets back on track to a world of steadiness until you hit another bump. It all falls back to, do you want to make your life the most enjoyable and live it to the fullest? Or do you want to live with regrets for the things you missed out on, didn't do, chickened out of, or the mistakes you didn't learn from? It's your choice now, do what's best for you.