Say Something...

I've been seeing so many "inspirational" quotes going around on Facebook, and in light of my friends blog post the other day, it is time to say good-bye to a few people, to rid my life of the negativity, and annoyance.

There is a big difference in "distancing" yourself with a friend, or shall I say "phasing" them out of your life and down right cutting them out of your life. I have been through a fair amount in my short lifetime. I've had childhood friends who've stabbed me in the back, to turn around and apologize to me so that I accept them back into my life, which I generally did, for them to turn around and cut me out of their lives, or phase me out. This is my farewell to the past, to the negativity, annoyance, and to the past difficulties and life experiences I've had.

Through everything I've been through, I've learned who my real "friends" are, and those who aren't, I have gotten rid of (as a manner of speaking), they're out of my life.

The "inspirational" quote, should it be called that, read: "You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one."  In my life, I have found this extremely fitting to SO many struggles, friendships, relationships, and life experiences that I have encountered. Everything can change in an instant, including all of the previously stated.

I am one of those people who can easily erase memories. It's sad, not so much that I can erase 6 years of my life, and forget those people who were in it, but I erase the good with the bad. The only thing I take out of those years is my strength, both emotionally and physically, despite what went on in those times. For those of you who don't know me, or know what I have gone through, you won't understand. I'm the person who will get rid of everything one individual gave me, train myself to forget the good, the bad, the great, and the terrible. I would say that the way I do this, the way I erase things or "forget" things, is my way of coping with what happened, but it's not. It's my way of saying good-bye, of saying that chapter is closed, that I never want to open and re-read that chapter again. For me, it's like writing a letter to each individual and burning it, it's my closure. It's my way, it's what makes me comfortable and happy with what is going on in my current life. I can't dwell on the past, I can't dwell on my fallen friendships, relationships, life experiences, or struggles. I would like to say that I forgive and forget, but I don't forgive, I move on, I forget and erase. Delete, if you will.

I've been told that I am the strongest person that people have met, that I take each thing with a grain of sand, and handle it or take care of it. But people don't know what I do with what hurts me, makes me sad, devastates me, or upsets me. I have a different train of thought than most people, I don't give up on anything, unless I absolutely must, I don't express my feelings to people unless things get so built up that I just can't stand it, in which I have a melt down about. I can hold things in for months, I can act like my life is "normal" or "perfect". It takes a lot to wear me down and break me open.

Just know, that whatever I do, however I react, I don't give up, I let go and erase if it's something I don't want in my life, or I push forward to where I want to be and how I want to be. I will accomplish the things I set my mind to, I don't give up that easily. Life has thrown me so many curve balls, that most people wouldn't know what to do with. When you take them at stride, and close each chapter in life as it needs to be closed, you get where you want to be and where you need to me.