Fearless

With everything that is going on in every body's life, I'm grateful to have the people I do in my life. Most of which I don't see on a regular basis or even talk to on a regular basis, there's only a few that I do, in either instance. I've found in my 23 years that making and keeping friends will always be a life long battle.

I'm sitting here, skipping through songs in my iTunes library, I don't think that I've actually listened to a full song yet this morning. I'm trying to find a song that suits the mood I'm in, that sums up how I'm feeling, or at least reflects a slight bit of my feelings for today.

I was hanging out with one of my good friends yesterday, she lives about 25 minutes from my house, and she's from my hometown, we've recently kindled a friendship. I was talking to her about friends, about our pasts and high school, about the friendships we had, and didn't have, and the relationships we were in. It felt so good to talk to someone who knows everyone you're talking about, who gets what you mean when you come from such a small town and are judged on everything. But when I think about it even more, so much of it isn't good memories, don't get me wrong, there are some good memories, but for the majority of it, I hated high school, I couldn't wait to get out of my hometown, expand my horizons, gain new knowledge and life experiences, not to mention embark on my own adventures that lead me to who I am today. The way I see it, you can take life by the horns, or stand by and watch everything pass you by. I'm the "take life by the horns" kind of person. I'm not afraid to take risks, take chances, make changes and make mistakes. You can't change your past, but you can change your future, make it what you want it to be, live the way you want, take risks, chances, make mistakes, do it all for you and those who are with you. I've made mistakes and I've had regrets, but there are things in my life, more important things now that take away those regrets, that make me see that it was because I was young, and I didn't know what I was doing. You always learn from your mistakes.

(Short story time) Wade and I met,  me as a cashier, and him as a customer. He took me on a few horseback rides (he's a cowboy), we really got to talking, I had to cancel a ride because I was really sick. A few days later after we had gone on one ride and really started getting to know each other, he showed up at my work, just as we were starting to close. He waited for me, reading our book rack, while we did close out. When we locked up, he stood in front of me, cowboy boots and all, making him quite a bit taller than me, looking down at me, (I thought he was going to kiss me) he handed me his business card with his phone number written in partial chicken scratch. As any girl would, I text him immediately after I got into my car. We stayed up for hours every night, talking, getting to know each other, developing crushes, feelings, likes, and loves. Wade says that it's not a very romantic story, but I beg to differ, I really like it (by the way there are a lot of details and such that aren't in the story, I wanted to make it short), I think it's cute and romantic, and if you all knew the whole story, you'd get it.
           - P.S. When this all happened, I felt like I could do anything. I was quite literally fearless. No guy has ever given me his number, let alone it lead to something more. (Currently 8 months of marriage) :D

I've been to college for 3 different things, two I successfully completed and I got 3/4 of the way through another and decided it wasn't for me. I've made big moves, gave up the beautiful mountains to be with the one, the one person in my life who I trust with everything, including my own life. Wade is the guy who sits with you all night when you're getting IV treatments for a Crohn's flare up, who takes you home, helps you shower and crawl into bed, brings you gatorade and banana bread, then gets you up at 6am to go back to the hospital for another round of medication, sits with you through the tears because it's burning your veins, takes you home, and brings you back 8 hours later to repeat it all. All of this, within the first 3 months of our relationship, that to me is passion, love, dedication, and commitment. It's when I knew that he was the one for me, the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Everyone's someone is out there, it may not take a long time to find them (or to know), but for some it may take a lot longer, I lucked out in meeting Wade when I was a cashier at the gas station he came into, more frequently once we met mind you :)

Don't live with regrets, they eat away at you, you don't enjoy life or experience what you want to experience, or be the person YOU want to be, don't let others judge who you are, or who you should be. I made that mistake in high school, but through over 3.5 years of knowing and being with Wade, I'm who I want to be, he makes me the best person I can be, he's given me the strength I need to face any obstacle life throws our way, and he gives me the happiness I need to live each day. Everyone deserves that eternal happiness. Go find your one and only, it's the best feeling in the world!

xoxo Lindsay